


Broken Parts

by mysticblur



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bartenders, Chaos, Crying, Drama, Everyone Needs A Hug, Heartbreak, Help, I'm Bad At Tagging, IKEA, M/M, Oikawa Tooru-centric, Rare Pairings, Rejection, Some Humor, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24006583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticblur/pseuds/mysticblur
Summary: Nishinoya is a bartender and Oikawa is drinking his heartbreak away.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Azumane Asahi/Tsukishima Kei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Nishinoya Yuu & Oikawa Tooru, Nishinoya Yuu/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

_What the fuck am I doing? ___

____

____

Oikawa mutters under his breath. Its snowing heavily and he's ploughing though it. Barely. His lungs are full of icy air and his fingers are fucking numb.

It's a quiet evening, everyone is hidden inside in comfort of blankets and warmth but, as Oikawa had sat in his room, the outside seemed less cold than his house somehow. 

There was an integral part of him missing. A broken bit of his brain he had to go collect. Someone had reached inside him and stolen it, keeping it so close that all Oikawa could could think about was him. 

And so, rather unfortunately, he finds himself outside Iwaizumi's house. He breathes in painfully and rings the doorbell and holds it as the door opens.

"Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asks blankly 

Oikawa smiles while his insides scream

"I wanted to make sure you were okay with all this snow..." He covers quickly, albeit not smoothly.

"So you walked all the way through it. Since it's so dangerous and all." Iwaizumi quips, raising a sceptical eyebrow.

"Yes." 

Iwaizumi gives him a defeated look - an expression he's not unfamiliar with. 

"Well you and your negative two braincells might as well come inside." 

Iwaizumi's home is so warm. Everything about it has a certain gentleness to it, a stark contrast to what Oikawa would describe as Iwaizumi's rather blunt personality. 

There are framed family photos everywhere. His eyes settle on the ones of Iwaizumi in particular. He's in his volleyball uniform and Oikawa remembers it so vividly. They had just won a match. It's meant to be a happy memory. Why does it hurt so bad? 

He watches the man in front of him sit down on his couch, dark hair falling in his face, slender fingers pushing the soft strands away, his shirt rising up to reveal his torso as he leans back. 

_Oh. Of course. That's why. Obviously_

__

__

Oikawa stays standing, he seems suddenly very small in the large living room. Standing, uncomfortable and hunched up in the centre as if afraid he'll damage anything he comes in contact with. Iwaizumi notices this oddity immediately. His best friend certainly is not acting himself.

"Why are you here, Oikawa?" 

_Well. Fuck it._

__

__

"I'm in love with you. I have been for so long. In fact, I think I loved you from the moment I met you and just found more things to love about you since. I love you Iwa-chan. I love you so much." 

His voice is beginning to break down in humiliation as he feels his words dissolving as they struggle out of his mouth. 

Iwaizumi inhales sharply. 

"This is what I was afraid of." He says, his voice quiet. Too quiet. 

He's moving now but Oikawa isn't paying attention. He's too busy reeling over what he just confessed. He almost doesn't notice's Iwaizumi's hand as it reaches up to hold his face. Their eyes meet. Oikawa is startled by the intensity of it all, there is something about Iwaizumi that is just that - intense. He does everything with purpose and a sense of self confidence that Oikawa has never been able to shake. He's been tied to this man for as long as he had known him and he's only just admitting this to himself now. 

Iwaizumi can feel Oikawa's face burn against his palm.

"You know I can't say it back." 

"I know." 

There is a heavy, weighted silence between them and Iwaizumi leans in ever so slightly, pressing a soft kiss against Oikawa's forehead. He stays there for a moment. 

"I'm so sorry. I care about you Oikawa. I really do." 

"But caring isnt the same as loving." Oikawa says, he's completely broken now, his eyes are glassy, his entire body trembling. 

Noticing, Iwaizumi pulls back and Oikawa realises that was the last time he'd ever get to be that close to him. Not with what was just confirmed. His throat closes. He had come with so much to say but he doesn't want to talk anymore, he's done. He's tired. He wants to go back to his cold, empty Iwaizumi-less house and cry. 

"You should go now." Iwaizumi interrupts his downward spiral, "'Thank you for telling me." 

Oikawa lets out a strangled laugh, "Don't pretend like you didn't already know. We both understood the situation, I just-" He swallows, focusing his gaze on the ground, the ceiling, the bookshelf, the absolutely anything that isnt Iwaizumi.

"You just needed closure. So did I. We have that now. It's time to move on." 

"Yeah." Oikawa manages. Fuck this shit. Fuck this. Fuck it all. He turns, heading out of the living room and back towards the door. He had thought this would make it better, this would fix his brain but everything is shit now. Fucking shit. 

The door clicks open and he walks back into the cold. 

His hands flit nervously at his sides as he turns back around to look up at Iwaizumi who lingers in the doorway. A stoic expression in his face.

"Say it. Just once. Lie to me, Iwaizumi. Please." 

Iwaizumi doesnt move, his eyes are dark as he speaks

"I love you too." 

The words catch in the icy wind and carry themselves across the empty snow laden street. And then he closes the door. 

The tears come fast and hot, melting the snow at his feet. He needs the get the fuck out of here. Now. 

Suddenly, he finds himself running, his legs still in shock along with the rest if his body. None of this feels real, everything he looks at is disjointed and blurred like he's staring at an unfinished watercolour painting. The ground moves beneath his shoes and his head is hollow, light and fuzzy. He doesn't even realise that he's stopped running and starting falling. The impact his body makes against the frosted pavement doesn't register. Something clicks in his brain. 

He needs alcohol. And lots of it. 

And that's how he ended up here, at the bar Nishinoya works at, several drinks in and wobbly legged, unable to stand up from the chair he is sat in. He has been mumbling vaguely coherent things for the past hour and Nishinoya has taken it upon himself to be his self appointment therapist. 

"I think there is depth to love. You can think you love someone as deeply a you possibly can but then somehow they surprise you. Then you're falling even more and you can't seem to stop. He was my someone." He mutters into his the side of his arm he has shoved his face into, attempting to hide the tears streaming down his face. 

Nishinoya regards him sadly. "You don't sound like you need another drink. You sound like you need to go home. Is there anyone you can call?" 

Oikawa growls, "You think I came here for a lecture? Take my damn money." 

Nishinoya leans, arms crossed, on the bar. "You don't think I know how you feel? You aren't doing yourself any good here. Trust." 

"I don't want to do myself good." 

Nishinoya is smiling sadly and its pissing Oikawa off. 

"All the more reason to do so." 

"What kind of bar refuses to serve its customers. You're getting a one star rating, short ass" 

Nishinoya scowls, clearly taking deep offense to the nickname. "Okay, firstly, fuck you. Secondly, give me your phone." 

"No what the fuck why would I do that?" Oikawa asks but finds himself reaching into his pocket to retrieve it anyways. 

The bartender warily scrolls through the frequently called contacts section. Iwaizumi is the first name that comes up. 

"I'm gonna call Iwaizumi to come get you." He says, unknowingly setting something off deep within Oikawa.

He acts almost upon pure instinct, snatching his phone back and smashing it violently on the ground. 

He can't find the words to explain, he can't seem to find anything in himself at all. 

a perplexed Nishinoya begins a stuttering apology "Oh fuck I'm so sorry-"

"That's what he said to me when I told him I loved him." Oikawa interrupts flatly. He stares at the smashed up phone on the floor. 

"I'm gonna get you that drink. On me." Nishinoya says gently, picking up the empty glass. 

The bar had been busy when he first arrived but it was almost entirely emptied out. The few remaining custorms were being swept out the door into the early morning.

The two other bartenders - a petite blonde and a tall navy haired woman are clearing away glasses and giving the two of them curious glances. Nishinoya waves a hand in their direction, "I'll close up. He's a friend so he'll stick around 'till I leave,"

Oikawa waves at them awkwardly.

"Sure thing, just make sure you and pretty boy lock up in the next half hour. And no more drinks." The taller woman instructs, eyeing the refilled glass Nishinoya had just set down in front of Oikawa and tosses him the keys over to him before following the blonde girl outside.

Nishinoya's focus returns back to Oikawa almost immediately, he seems anxious. 

"You know. There was this girl- I mean this guy," His stable demeanor shifts into a quiet panic, "Sorry i'm not used to- my family aren't exaclty- but that's not the point-" Nishinoya takes a pause to let out a shaky breath and Oikawa's eyes become gently focused on his.

_It's okay, I understand_

__

__

Nishinoya's chest feels like it's full of burnt wires. His mouth tastes like smoke. The recollection of these memories still hurt like a dull ache throughout his entire body. He swallows and the smoke settles in his stomach. 

"There was this guy called Asahi."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa isn't the only one who has had his heart broken

"There was this guy called Asahi."

"Ex boyfriend?"

"Kind of." 

-flash back to a year and four months ago- 

Nishinoya has never been good at sleeping. Staying up until 4am eating icecream and watching trash tv is, however, his speciality. Sometimes he'd stay awake until sunrise and curse himself for being so irresponsible. Tonight is no different. His apartment often feels extremely lonely but with enough blankets he could pretend it's just like home. He wants so badly for someone to share the space with him. No, not someone. Asahi. Visions of the brunette cross his mind and he does his best to bury them with the drama happening on the screen in front of him. 

He has a boyfriend, for fucks sakes Nishinoya.

A couple more agonising hours pass of him attempting to ignore his ever present feelings. When did infatuation become so obsessive? He feels gross and unc'lean for feeling the way he did about his friend's partner. But he can't help it.

There is a certain gentleness to Asahi. He is the type of person to always make sure the door shuts softly behind him and feel too guilty to hang up first on a phone call. 

He's mid way through an episode when there's a knock at the door. Its sounds creepy but he knows who it is. He's memorized that pattern - three quiet taps, a pause, three even quieter taps. Asahi has always been like that, embarrassed when he has to knock more than once. 

It's safe to say Nishinoya is taken aback. This is beyond abnormal. its half four in the morning. What on earth is Asahi doing here? Is everything ok? Oh god, has something bad happened? 

A panicked Nishinoya springs from the nest he has made on his couch and scrambles to open the door. Everything is very not okay. Something bad has happened. Asahi is crying. He's been crying for a while. 

The tall man is crumpled against the door frame, his face blotchy and wet. Every part of him is shaking. 

He can't even make eye contact. 

"Holy shit, are you okay? Fuck. Come inside." Nishinoya stutters, stepping back to allow the man to enter. But he doesn't. Instead he grabs Nishinoya by the shirt and kisses him. Hard. This isn't the gentle Asahi he's come to know. This is rough, jaded, heartbroken Asahi. 

Oh, how Nishinoya wishes he didn't love this side of him. But he does. 

"You love me, don't you? We all know it. You're so bad at hiding things." His voice is low and quiet.

Nishinoya just nods. 

"I broke up with him for you." Asahi says abruptly.

"What?"

"I broke up with Tsukishima because I love you." 

Nishinoya wants to believe him. So he does.

-end of flashback-

A vulnerability overcomes Nishinoya and Oikawa feels like he's intruding- like be shouldn't be seeing him in this state. It's the type of vulnerability you only see when someone trusts you enough to look after them as they fall sleep on your shoulder on a crowded train, the type of expression you get after someone has told you their deepest secret and has no fear of you rejecting them, the type of raw emotion you never see on a stranger's face. He had called him a friend. Was Nishinoya still a stranger to him? 

"Asahi." He repeats, softer this time. Sadder this time. It is only now that Oikawa becomes aware of how tiny the man really is. Though being short in stature, his loud presence can make you forget pretty quickly. But, right now, he is so small he could disappear. 

"Tell me." Oikawa orders. He needs to know. 

Nishinoya laughs but it comes out broken, "You're such a primadonna. Nothing like him." 

"I'm assuming that's a compliment?" Oikawa shrugs and Nishinoya laughs again - its brighter this time. Thank god. 

"Being completely different from the man I loved most in this world? Well, you decide." 

Oikawa sits up "Loved? You're over him?" 

Nishinoya sighs, "Well it did all happen over a year ago." 

To this Oikawa just complains more, he makes a dramatic hand gesture, "What happened a year ago, Noya? Bitch I need to know. " 

Nishinoya smiles at the nickname and rolls his eyes at Oikawa's childish antics. 

"I'll set the scene. It's a summer night. I'm knee fucking deep in a relationship I never should have been in. But I loved him so much how could I say no? He's lying next to me in my bedroom. We never sleep at his. His sleepy hair is my favourite because he's not a messy person but right now, its tousled and tangled beyond belief. He's always been better at sleeping than me. I know it sounds creepy but when I can't sleep I just watch him. I think about what it would feel like if he loved me back. I think about what would have happened if it's just told him to fuck off. I know I should break up with him, I feel it deep in my bones. I'm always sad when I'm with him. 

I curl up in his arms, one hand in his hair and the other clutching at his shirt. I don't know why but having something to hold onto calms me down, helps me go to sleep. I drift off to the sounds of his breathing. 

When I wake up the only thing I have to hold onto is empty space and a crumpled sheets. He doesn't pick up the phone when I call him. He doesn't come home for lunch. No one I ask knows where he is. I'm worried sick and on the verge of calling the fucking police and then the godamn doorbell rings and he's right fucking there just like when he first kissed me. Crying and sad and broken. And he doesn't even have to tell me where he's been because I know. He even smells like Tsukishima." 

"Tsukishima?"

"God you're thick. His ex boyfriend." 

Oikawa sits, shocked, "Oh." 

"I don't know why I was mad. I knew all along. I ignored the extensive amount of time he spent on his phone, the distance, shit, sometimes he even called me by his name and I let it slide." Nishinoya says painfully, his hands clutching at the edge of the bar for support. 

"Why?" Oikawa asks quietly, tentively, probably still insensitively.

Nishinoya looks at him bleary eyed and weak, "Why what?" 

"Why did you keep dating him if you knew he was using you?" If he was sober he wouldn't have been so bold, his social instincts would have deterred him far away from this subject but drunk, heartbroken, curious Oikawa wants to know. So he asks. 

Luckily Nishinoya doesn't seem too offended by the personal probing, instead he answers. "I don't know. I think, maybe, I convinced myself that one day he'd learn to love me back. But you don't learn love. You feel it." 

Nishinoya frowns to himself.  
"Its all so clear in retrospect. I'm an idiot."

"When everything is moving so fast, how can you blame yourself for all the red flags blurring into the other colours? The nicer ones." 

"Huh. You're kind of wise."

"Nope. Just drunk and emotional." He grins. 

Nishinoya breaks into a laugh, or a sob - Oikawa can't tell at this point, "Okay, pretty boy, I'll drive you home." 

"Woah woah woah, getting into car with a stranger and telling them my address? Sounds kind of sketchy to me." 

"C'mon man, we just unloaded all our baggage onto eachother." Noya says, struggling to keep up an unoffended tone. 

Again, sober Oikawa would have said no but drunk Oikawa likes the idea of this nice man looking after him for a little bit longer. 

"M'kay, hurry and lock up then"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa isn't good at processing his emotions but luckily someone shows up to check in on him...

Oikawa wakes to disorientation and it takes him a bit too long to realise the pounding noise is someone at him door and not the pain in his head.

Why can't the world just leave him alone for one godamn second. 

What if its Iwaizumi? 

Fuck.

FUCK.

He buries his head into his pillow and allows himself to sink into his mattress - as far as it would let him. It wasn't a particularly good one. He breathes in what little oxygen he could with his face stuffed into linen. Its musty and clogs his lungs. He should really do his laundry more often. Iwaizumi was always the clean one, or rather, as he would put it, "Not clean, just someone who meets basic human hygiene standards." 

Of all the things in the universe, the entire sparkly starred, devastatingly endless expanse of it, why was it just one person that he couldn't stop thinking about? 

Iwaizumi was seemingly unremarkable in Oikawa's eyes. He was a guy who he played volleyball with for a little bit. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Average height. Well liked. Smart in some areas. Excelled in his chosen sport, sure, but they hadn't even gone to nationals. 

Except,

(yes, of course when it comes to Iwaizumi there's an except)

Nothing can be determined from the surface. No one is who they are because of their appearance or their hobbies or academics because in every alternate existence they are doing something else. 

If you take a step closer, which Oikawa made the mistake of doing, you will see that in actuality Iwaizumi is entirely remarkable. To his very core. 

He had stepped in silently, powerfully, and impacted Oikawa's life more than anyone else had before without even trying. Without the intentions of it. 

Iwaizumi walks this planet for himself and whoever is harmed is collateral damage and whoever is helped is a bonus. 

Oikawa's breath hitches softly as tears begin to form. He gets it now. He's just collateral damage in someone else's life. 

The knocking has stopped and now someone is yelling "I know you're in there open the fuck up."

His roomate, Tanaka. He'd been out at a party last night and presumably slept over while Oikawa had been crying in a bar about his love life. He almost laughs but remembers that it's more sad than funny. 

He doesn't want to see him. He doesn't want to leave his bed. Open the door. Face reality. He wants to see Iwaizumi. No he doesn't. Yes he does. 

"Okay okay I fucking get it. I'll stop forgetting my keys. Jesus christ."

Go away. Go away. Go away.

"Are you seriously not gonna let me in? Come on man." 

Go away. 

"Fine. I'll go back to Kags and Hinata's and aggressively third wheel. Fucking hell." 

Kageyama isn't the type for parties but his boyfriend- sorry, 'just a friend'- Hinata is. Oikawa can barely stomach thinking about two people actually liking eachother back. 

He stays under his duvet and listens to Tanaka's footsteps get more and more distant. 

He'll explain later. Tanaka will understand. He'll be pissed, absolutely. But he'll understand.  
__________________________________________________

Nishinoya is driving to someone he's known for less than 24 hours just....because? Will Oikawa even remember him? Okay, obviously yes he was barely drunk. Will he want to see him? Doesn't matter he won't want to see anyone in his current state. 

Nishinoya is sure Oikawa has a support system outside of a random bartender but that won't stop him from worrying. He gets attached to people quickly and it's hard to let go. Which makes making friends all the more easier, but losing them burn twice as much. 

He lives conveniently near by but far enough for him to decide to drive. He pulls up a street down and steps out and heads towards the apartment complex. It's a quiet area just as he had remembered from the night before. 

A couple flights of stairs up and he reaches apartment 284 or was is 285? Shit. He attempts to recall the memories of the previous night. Driving with Oikawa an the passenger seat, badly giving directions to his apartment complex. Oikawa's tear soaked complaints as he leant on Nishinoya as they climbed the stairs. Him getting the number wrong and Nishinoya having to profusely apologise to the cranky neighbour they had woken up by attempting to break in with the wrong key. 

He knocks on what he thinks is the right door. He thinks about the neighbour's aggressive nature. God he's fucked if he's got this wrong again.  
Surprisingly, the door opens to reveal a freshly washed, serene faced Oikawa. Weird. This doesn't seem like someone who had his heart broken the night before.

"Hey, just wanted to check up in you. Everything okay?" He asks tentively. "I brought you cupcakes." 

Oikawa smiles, "It was a rough morning but then I got out of bed and thought. I'm better off without him. I cleansed my my life of him. And I've moved on." 

Oikawa steps aside and beckons Noya to come in who, still apprehensivlely, obliges. 

Oh god.

"I threw out all my belongings that were his favourite colour." 

There's no couch. No carpet. A distinct lack of cups. 

"I'm taking his favourite colour was white?"

"How did you know?"

"Oikawa, you have no fucking fridge." 

"Oh. It appears so." 

All the non white contents of the no longer in sight fridge are gathered on the countertops. 

_Fuck. _Noya thinks.__

____"I dont think this counts as cleansing, Oikawa. Let's go get your stuff."_ _ _ _

____Oikawa pouts, lifting up an orange juice carton and peeling off the barcode on the bottom._ _ _ _

____"Don't want it"_ _ _ _

____"Oikawa-"_ _ _ _

____"No." He says with finality before throwing the barcode him the trash. "This is me healing. Respect the process."_ _ _ _

____Noya stares in disbelief as Oikawa continues._ _ _ _

____"Now that you have seen that I'm completely fine you can leave. But if you wanna come to the store with me as emotional support feel free to."_ _ _ _

____He catches Noya's eyes___ _ _please_

____

____

______Nishinoya very much wants to say no and insist they collect his stuff but a spontaneous shopping trip to Ikea with Oikawa and cupcakes? Fuck yes._ _ _ _ _ _

______(Also, thank fuck they were chocolate not vanilla)_ _ _ _ _ _

______Oikawa lights up but in an artificial street lamp kind of way. The sun is still very much behind clouds._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Perfect!" He announces, still smiling in a weird, wrong, forced kind of way._ _ _ _ _ _

______"We can use my car." Nishinoya suggests._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand we're out of pre written chapters oop. Thank you to everyone who has left kudos and is reading this (still not entirely sure where its going honestly) but I appreciate you  
> being here for the ride ♡


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